Fading Memoirs, Diluted Gift
by SteinMadness68
Summary: Memories can bring feelings of happiness, joy, sadness, or nostalgia. Viewed as a gift, to be able to re-live those moments. But also as a poison to which the body overcomes and becomes stronger. In which way does Professor Stein sees this? Stein x Marie fluff Stein x Spirit. My first fic
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first fic, please review and state opinions. Right now I am just experimenting so please bare with me. I guess I was feeling really depressed then ;A; I am thinking of making several chapters of these but we'll see._

_____**Fading memoirs, Diluting gift**_

* * *

Today, I feel loneliness grasp me once again. A cold developing darkness, that can both be comforting and noxious to the body. It is slowly eating at me, killing me like some type of venom.

_A gift._ However, it is necessary. Staying away from me is the best thing for everyone. I am meant to harm and destroy everything and everyone I touch: a menacing, calculating monster.

Even though I am currently a well respected teacher at the DWMA nothing has changed, has it?

I take a long drag off my cigarette and stare at the untouched, sedated specimen in front of myself. How long have I thoughtlessly stood here? I am not sure. I exhale and my left hand reaches to the bolt that protrudes from my head and twisted.

My head feels increasingly fuzzy despite of this. As I keep twisting it, unwanted memories float into surface as if fueled by solitude. _Damn. _

They are suffocating me. The buzz inside my head won't settle, its deafening. A giggle leaves my mouth but as soon as it escapes, I suppress the need to explode in hysterical laughter.

I desperately try to reach the living area inside my lab, yearning to find someone. With the hope that whoever it was, could possibly reach my soul. _Did I just contradicted myself? _With heavy pants, I enter my living room and soon collapse on my partner's purple couch. Everything around me soon blurs and fades...

"Franken... Franken! **Damnit get in here!**" I jumped from my desk hurrying to reach my house's front door, to the source of the booming ominously, a tall platinum blonde man stands at the entrance. _My father_.

Slightly shivering, I slowly walk towards the man. Halfway there, he impatiently reached for me and brutally grabbed me by my left wrist in a vice like grip. A split-second later, I was being held off the ground by the forearms. I cowardly whimpered as I slowly gaze into the face of _that _man.

His sage green eyes were cold and emotionless, betraying the intensity of the situation.

"When I return home, expect you to accordingly welcome me.. **N****ow why the fucking hell where you not here?!**" He violently shook me as his voice crescendoed.

Fear developing my whole being. I turn my gaze and see my mother silently standing a few feet from the door, in position. Her right eye bruised and half open, lower lip healing from a previous "fall" and silver hair slightly messy. Her blue eyes were to the rug she was currently standing on. Lower lip quivering, not another move made.

"I-I was doing my ho-homework." I quickly regretted my foolishness. I knew he would be coming today then why did I not come and waited for him like a good boy?

"Homework? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Homework", he sneered. He dropped me into the ground. I cringed from the pain in my bottom.

As I stood, he swiftly slapped me across the face. The blow busting my lip open, blood dripping down my chin and staining my pure, white shirt.

It didn't take long before he grabbed me by my hair; tugging me harshly and pulling me to face him. "You damn **bastard. **Is this your way of showing your respect to the one providing you with everything?-"

I avoid his eyes. "Don't dare look away, you little shit." He takes a deep breath. "Now.. I will 'reconsider' being a _**special**_day", he utters with disgust. "..At the first chance I get, I'll get rid of you."

The man turned on his heel and left the house with a loud slam of a door. I gingerly touched my lips, staining my little fingers with my blood. I looked up only to see my mother's sorrowful face.

"Why... the only time we got to see h-him. Do you know how much I yearn for his return? Stupid child.." She slowly left my side.

A stupid, bastard child, that is who I am. I was selfish. A foolish child doing things he isn't supposed to do. It was only natural to be reprimanded wasn't it?

Seeing my mother in that manner hurt more than that man's hit. I feverishly thought this as I steadied myself, rubbing my bruised wrist and taking my leave towards a staircase.

The walk on the stairs felt more strenuous than normal. My feet and heart felt heavy with each step. For the first time, I felt my forearms ache. Probably already bruised just as like my wrist.

Finally I reached the top and turned right to a hall with three doors, a closet or storage room, bathroom ,and my own room.

I quickly open my room's door and headed to a large wooden box used as a desk. In front of it stood a bendable bright blue chair. I moved my chair and took a seat attempting to adjust myself closer my "desk".

On the desk several papers and a very distinctive book were laid. The book read _Wonders of the Human Body. _I had found it by mistake at my school's library. Stupid book. If only I hadn't found it then everything would have been fine.

Mom wouldn't be crying and my lower lip wouldn't be bleeding. I picked it up. My right arm was already in position to grudgingly throw it across the room but stopped halfway.

My arm is shaking.

I am only good at spoiling everything am I not? The book slips from my hand and falls back on to the large box. I crossed my arms on the box and place my head, burrowing my face between them.

I start hiccuping and slowly they transform into sobs. _Happy seventh birthday._

* * *

_This is based on my own head canon about Stein's childhood and love dilemma. I know that in the episode/chapter where he fought Medusa he said he didn't suffer any trauma but I was like " I don't believe you Franken.." '^' Critiques are welcome. I need some constructive critism but have some pity on me so don't be too harsh ;w;_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sorry for the terrible delay! I wasn't sure whether to continue or not but i guess as long as there's one person looking forward to the next chapter, I'll continue it for that person's sake. Truthfully I have a hard time coming up with stuff to write. Scumbag brain. A year out of school and this happens:/ I just have a hard time organizing my thoughts and being the easily distracted person I am doesn't help either. However, it seems that my thoughts come out more naturally now. This chapter is way longer, yay! :**_**D**

-Time skip-

**I can't sleep**. There's a buzzing in my head that steals my dreams away. **I can't sleep**... It fills up my head with thoughts, some useless, some important. However, not useful for this time and occasion. I try to close my eyes and think of pleasant things but no comforting images come. I should really stop reading so many books. I'm only nine yet I think I read more than a librarian. Maybe, that's what keeps my mind so restless. Oh. So many large words... Guess not many nine year olds speak using these words. But I'm not like most of them to begin with. I used to be naive and innocent shortly before but it doesn't help me to stay a silly boy. With my lifestyle of course it will not. Years of sterness will inevitably shape a person. It was shortly before turning seven that "father" came back to the life of mother and I after many years of absence. Sadly, this was to stay...

A deep sigh escaped my lips and I open my eyes to a darkened room. Glancing to my right I see the alarm clock on my bed stand reads it is barely 5:09 am. How bothersome. I really don't have anything else to do and I don't feel like trying to sleep so I will just get ready for school. I pull my quilt from my body and shiver at the change of temperature. Ignoring this, I continue to walk towards the old oak wardrobe standing at the feet of my bed and pick an outfit consisting of a light blue long sleeved shirt and a pair of pure white pants and head to the bathroom across the hall. I click on the light and soon after locking the bathroom door, I lay my clothes on top of the toilet seat and went to turn on the shower. I begin undressing and step into the shower and thankfully the water temperature was perfectly hot by then because as soon as the water soaked my skin, it revived my small cramped body.

However it also seemed to reawake my hyper-active brain flashing with information. This is really bothering me, a few weeks ago this wasn't a problem at all. I believe this may also be an effect from when I last became ill. A few weeks ago after coming back from school I got a terrible fever which also caused my ears to hurt with pressure. When I tried to sleep it off, I kept having life-like nightmares and although the next day my fever was gone I kept hearing a buzzing from time to time.

As I carefully lathered my body my rampaging thoughts began to drift to my family. Not something I want to really think about when trying to relax. I try to understand her. My mother I mean. I try to put myself on her shoes and see everything from her perspective and understand everything inside her mind, but simply I can't.

**To think that that man could return her feelings.. **Subconsciously, I let out a long deep sigh. She claims to love both him and me equally but obviously it's not true. Besides, how can she possibly love someone else when she can't even manage to love herself? I don't understand this at all. **Love truly is maddening**. I lift up my head and let the water hit my face. Hmm.. so why try to understand? Ow. I flinch. Seems, I accidentally scrubbed too hard on my forearm. I extend my left arm and carefully examine the large dark purple bruise "decorating" my pale skin.

There are more bruises randomly laid on my petite body, all of different colors indicating their freshness. A few reddish, some green but most purple. Ugh.. love's "signature"... I finally finish bathing and gingerly step out of the shower. There's a warm fog filling the bathroom that feels pleasant despite the cool air creeping below the bathroom door. But before getting anymore comfortable, I begin drying myself off and dressing.

I was already brushing my teeth when I hear the muffled sound of a crash coming from somewhere within the house. Curiosity winning the better of me, of course I decide to go investigate. I quietly start walking down the stairs basically tip-toeing, careful not to wake up my father if asleep, when I overhear a loud smack followed by a thump coming from the kitchen. I break into a quiet semi-jog carefully maneuvering through some furniture in the way and walk with my back against the wall closest to me all while careful of any creaking floor boards.

I take a peek from around the wall and although I knew what had happened I couldn't help but to immediately flinch at the sight. My mother laid on the floor, shards of porcelain across from her. She carefully sat on her knees and tried to hide her face behind her silver locks but her split lower lip was still visible and quivering slightly. The man towering besides her clicks his tongue in annoyance."Don't just sit there, hurry the fuck up and make breakfast. I have somewhere important to go.. " In between clenched teeth. "Didn't you hear me move that ass now" A massive hand took a fistful of beautiful silver hair pulling at it. "Of course you are always useless. Goddamn, nevermind I dont have time for your punishment right now.. Have dinner ready by 9 tonight, a special someone will be coming again then get ready for your 'appointment' " A truly amused smirk.

He turned and headed for the kitchen's backdoor and he was already walking through the door frame, when he glanced around his shoulder and met my gaze. He smiled. A secret message known only by the two of us. I felt a lump in my throat and my body began to shake uncontrollably. He lowly chuckled at my terror and I could see satisfaction. Then he finally broke eye contact and and left the house. In the silence, all that was heard was the roaring of an engine and the sound of retreating wheels on loose ground.

I stayed in that frozen position for a few minutes until finally my senses clicked in and I noticed mom was still sitting on the floor. I gave a shaky sigh and slowly left the wall and walk inside the kitchen. I start searching through the kitchen cabinets until I finally found a handkerchief. I handed my mother the handkerchief, which she shakily but gratefully takes and lightly cleans the blood from her split lip. I noticed shards of what used to be a plate sticking out of her left hand but as I reached for her hand she moved away. Instead, I slowly bent over to pick up the pieces of porcelain. Silently, she picks her self up, "Mom?"; she raises her arm. I closed my eyes expecting her to retaliate. That was the** normal** response but instead I felt warmth on top of my head. She carefully patted my head while avoiding eye contact and without a word took her leave. Although surprised, I decided not to think too much of it. It's better not to get any false hopes. I finish picking up all the pieces and promptly throw them away for her.

I'll just go to school... This previous show made me lose my appetite. I walk out of the kitchen into a hallway leading to the house's front door and pick my scarf and coat from a coat rack besides the doorway and take my book bag next to said rack. Buttoning down my white coat, I wrap my light blue scarf around myself and open the front door. Ah. It's still very dark outside only about forty minutes have passed since I left my bed. There is snow and ice covering the ground and surrounding trees gleam with the moon light and although it is truly beautiful it still gave an ominous feeling.

Hm? Ah, no time for this. Smooth steps take me across our front yard towards a path running through the forest surrounding my house. It is peaceful here at the forest but I can't stop to think it has a bittersweet aftertaste to it. When father is away I can freely explore and examine everything around in the forest, go play at the stream nearby and chase after animals that catch my interest. But being rounded up and hidden by these great oaks and pines has its downside too. Our closest neighbours are around 3 acres away and with noone else around to hear, father can torture us to his heart's content. I enter a path in between the great ancient forest trees and gingerly walk, aware that even if I knew this path like the back of my hand danger can lurk from every corner. I continue walking when I finally reach a paved road and walk a little bit further corner down the side of the road till I finally reached a bus stop. I flop down on the bench and take out a book from my backpack.

Yawn~ So boring.. After a few minutes of reading in silence, I take notice of the buzzing sound at the back of my head. I try not to mind it but it feels like its begging to be heard, calling my name. By the passing minute the buzzing starts getting louder and louder and soon shifts into a shrill, painful ringing. I shut my eyes and cover my ears, my whole body is trembling. It hurts. It won't stop, my head feels like its going to explode! A wave of nausea washes over me and when I thought I would pass out I heard a tiny giggle. It sounds really familiar. Wait.. t-that's my voice! **Ha.** A small laugh escapes my lips. **Hehehe...** It just pours out of me! Everything is funny! **Hahahaha**!

I hear rustling of leaves coming from a bush behind the bench and sharply turned my head. Look at that! A rabbit with chocolate fur. What's it doing? It looks plump and fluffy... What makes their fur soft?As it hunches over to pick on a bug off the ground, the fur on its back folds into a roll. I slowly pick myself from the bench and quietly walk towards the rabbit. It looks up at me but doesn't move. A pet! A pet rabbit! Slowly, I reach a hand forwards and pet it, pinching and pulling a little on the roll of fur. It's as soft as it looks. Ah! It feels like the fur can easily be striped from its body. **Haha**! Striped from its body! What's underneath then? I wanna see it! How? With what?! Using my hands and mouth? I look around and spot a rock in between the low branches of the bush. **Teehee~ Lookie here.** Aww, dont worry bunny it will only hurt for a little while!

I took the rock and turned it to its sharpest side. Just as I had positioned my arm on above the rabbit, I notice a shadow casted underneath us and come to halted stop. My arm shakes with fury and I let go of the rock. I slowly look above my shoulder to confront my newfound companion..

_**And there it is. Honestly, my forte is actually drawing but since I loved reading stories I decided to try it out. Well this is kinda fun but truly, this is not my talent. I don't wanna be mean to Stein! X( aww .. **_


End file.
